I was driving along and saw a family out on their bicycles, I glanced at Freddie in his car seat and it dawned on me – I will never see my son ride a bike. James and I will never buy him his first bike, run along behind him holding it once he’d had the stabilisers removed, never see his smug face when he realised he could ride a ‘big’ bike on his own. It actually made me sad to think about (something else to log in my ‘another thing I took for granted and didn’t know I had’ section).
It surprises me that things still crop up which I hadn’t thought about, even more so that things make me sad when he’s in a good place. I know some people will tell me ‘never say never’ or ‘Doctors don’t know everything’ and I appreciate some people genuinely believe that, but I also think some people live in denial or don’t truly understand Freddie’s condition. It’s fabulous he’s doing well at the moment, he’s rolling over, he can eat solids, he’s happy, he’s engaged with his environment and enjoys playing but there is no cure for him and the fact of the matter is his disease is degenerative. One day he will get sick and he won’t make it back.
Believe me when I say I’m treasuring him, everyday I wake up to that big smile and those twinkling blue eyes and tomorrow morning I’ll remind myself that that’s worth a million bike rides.
